I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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