i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need moral support for this bender
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
