called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
