Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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