CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
