I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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