gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
