hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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