White coat. Heels.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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