Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
