dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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