I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it hurts more in the daytime
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
