don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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