Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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