You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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