Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
