Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
