mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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