He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
