ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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