shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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