No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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