Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
