My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well I just put wine in my tea
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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