He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
