I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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