ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
