Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize