that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
