"it" just moved
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
