I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
