Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
