i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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