just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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