i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
