Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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