i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
