My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
