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Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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