I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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