i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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