you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
