worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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