Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i will never coherently bang her
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
