this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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