That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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