So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
