who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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