Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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