Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
