dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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