Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
