so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
