i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
