yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
