If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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