Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize