just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
